“Olhe para as fraquezas dos outros com compaixão, não acusação. Não é o que eles não estão fazendo ou deveriam estar fazendo que é o problema. A questão é a sua própria resposta escolhida para a situação e o que você deveria estar fazendo. Se você começar a pensar que o problema está “lá fora”, pare. Esse pensamento é o problema.”
Stephen Covey
O não julgamento que abordamos significa ter a mente aberta o suficiente para entender que as outras pessoas têm diferentes pontos de vista, e que, em sua visão de mundo, elas podem estar certas. Para muitas questões, não há verdade absoluta. No entanto, muitas vezes queremos impor nossa visão, nossas crenças.
Julgamentos, críticas e desprezos, mesmo escondidos em nossos pensamentos, simplesmente não motivam ou apoiam a mudança de comportamento. Você quer realmente ajudar? Apontar as deficiências pode não ser maneira mais eficaz. O julgamento é como uma trave nos olhos que nos cega para enxergar uma solução ou um modo eficaz de contribuir.
Lembre-se, somos seres humanos e temos uma tendência natural para julgar os outros. Comparamos como alguém olha, pensa ou age, com a nossa forma de ser. Podemos aprovar ou desaprovar as outras pessoas por causa do seu cabelo, roupas, aparência, as palavras que usam, tom de voz, etc.
O julgamento está ligado à condenação e considerar algum comportamento como ‘certo’ ou ‘errado’ e emitir uma carga negativa de pensamento. Qualquer reprovação prejudica sua capacidade de construir uma relação positiva de apoio mútuo. Além disso, a desaprovação normalmente acaba se comunicando, mesmo se não expressa verbalmente
Julgar dificulta nosso poder de entender alguém e ouvi-lo na essência. Esta falta de entendimento tem um impacto direto sobre nossa capacidade de se relacionar, de se conectar e influenciar positivamente outras pessoas.
Em um mundo onde ter ótimos relacionamentos é a chave para o sucesso e felicidade, o julgamento torna-se um obstáculo real. Quando mantemos uma postura neutra, sem condenação, podemos obter mais informações e assim obter insights mais relevantes para todas circunstâncias.
Todos temos o direito de julgar, a grande questão é:
Quais são os resultados deste julgamento?
Quais resultados obtemos ao julgar alguém?
Quais resultados criamos a pessoa julgada?
Qual comportamento cria mais resultados para sua vida e para vida dos outros, julgar ou não julgar?
Um dos principais pilares do Coaching é o não Julgamento. O papel do Coach não é julgar e nem desaprovar o coachee em relação ao modo como ele trata os outros ou vive sua vida. Seu papel é simplesmente fazer ligações claras entre o comportamento do indivíduo e os resultados que eles estão recebendo e oferecer estratégias, técnicas, apoio e suporte para que o cliente(Coachee) supere desafios e atinja seus objetivos no menos espaço de tempo e da forma mais prazerosa e divertida possível.
Porém desenvolver o não julgamento não é um privilégio do Coach. Todos podem desenvolver esta postura e colher os maravilhosos benefícios desta competência.
“Quando você julga o outro, você não o define, você define a si mesmo.”
Dr. Wayne
Até agora falamos sobre julgamento sobre os outros, e quando julgamos e condenamos a nós mesmos, qual o resultado?
O resultado é exatamente o mesmo. Não entramos em harmonia com o nosso ser e nos bloqueamos para analisar os resultados com clareza. Fugimos dos problemas, pois a condenação é pesada e dificilmente acharemos a solução. Por outro lado, analisar a si mesmo com neutralidade, é a chave para você realmente se conhecer e efetuar grandes passos no seu processo evolutivo.
E como desenvolver esta competência de viver uma vida sem julgamentos e colher todos os benefícios?
Realmente viver uma vida sem julgamentos é bastante desafiador. Somos como máquinas de julgar condicionados desde o nascimento. Em vez de tentar impedir os pensamentos de julgamento que são inevitáveis, procuremos ver os outros e as suas circunstâncias através da lente da compaixão e sabedoria. O não julgamento, a felicidade e o sucesso são frutos de um treinamento mental. Um processo de Coaching ajuda as pessoas a conquistarem um novo condicionamento mental que amplie os resultados obtidos.
Pense nos resultados que produzirá julgando ou não julgando. Na medida que você fizer isso terá maior confiança na vida, mais humildade em assumir que não sabe tanto quanto pensa, e assim, poderá contribuir de verdade e se sentirá em paz. Neste processo, você vai amar muito mais os outros e a si mesmo, sendo a mudança que você deseja no mundo.
Fonte: http://www.justbeyou.com.br/
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